{"id":716,"date":"2010-07-31T17:35:00","date_gmt":"2010-07-31T17:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bestfantasynovel.com\/2010\/07\/31\/the-worst-query-letter-ever\/"},"modified":"2010-07-31T17:35:00","modified_gmt":"2010-07-31T17:35:00","slug":"the-worst-query-letter-ever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/2010\/07\/31\/the-worst-query-letter-ever\/","title":{"rendered":"The Worst Query Letter Ever"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Are you ever plagued by the worry, &#8220;What if I haven&#8217;t written enough drek?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve been going through boxes of my old papers recovered from my mom&#8217;s garage. One held a trove of old stories. I&#8217;ve already found a few <a href=\"hhttp:\/\/taramayastales.blogspot.com\/2010\/07\/lost-manuscript-found.html\" target=\"_blank\">lost manuscripts.<\/a> Now I&#8217;m finding manuscripts that were not only lost but entirely forgotten.<\/p>\n<p>In most cases, for good reason.<\/p>\n<p>Short stories, novellas, worldbuilding notes on worlds I never finished building,<\/p>\n<p>Frex, I&#8217;ve found mysterious messages scrawled across the top of a scene that begins and ends on page 5. &#8220;Note to self: I&#8217;m not sure what ATEN is, but it is really important.&#8221;  <\/p>\n<p>Self to Note: WTF?<\/p>\n<p>On the one hand, I think, well, if I was worried I hadn&#8217;t written the million words of drek it supposedly takes to become a decent writer, clearly that fear was unfounded.<\/p>\n<p>But, egad, it is SO BAD.<\/p>\n<p>The worst embarrassment of all has got to be the query letter I found. The author talks about herself in third person for three paragraphs, and then in the fourth paragraph, adds, &#8220;As the above mentioned author, I hope you will consider becoming my agent&#8230;&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>Shudder.<\/p>\n<p>Let us not even mention the grandiose and ridiculous claims made by this third person author. And the kicker is that I can&#8217;t even tell what book I thought I was querying. Somehow I forgot to mention that.<\/p>\n<p>Unbelievable. <\/p>\n<p>Present Self: Please, please, younger self, tell me you never sent this query letter anywhere.<\/p>\n<p>Younger Self: Pretty sure I didn&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p>Present Self: [lets out breath in big whoosh]\n<p>Younger Self: HERE&#8217;S the query I sent&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>Present Self: MUST&#8230;. NOT&#8230;. LOOK&#8230;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you ever plagued by the worry, &#8220;What if I haven&#8217;t written enough drek?&#8221; I&#8217;ve been going through boxes of my old papers recovered from my mom&#8217;s garage. One held a trove of old stories. I&#8217;ve already found a few lost manuscripts. Now I&#8217;m finding manuscripts that were not only lost but entirely forgotten. In [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-716","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/716","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=716"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/716\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=716"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=716"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=716"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}