{"id":412,"date":"2011-12-29T16:18:00","date_gmt":"2011-12-29T16:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bestfantasynovel.com\/2011\/12\/29\/one-ridiculously-easy-way-to-improve-your-manuscript-2\/"},"modified":"2011-12-29T16:18:00","modified_gmt":"2011-12-29T16:18:00","slug":"one-ridiculously-easy-way-to-improve-your-manuscript-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/2011\/12\/29\/one-ridiculously-easy-way-to-improve-your-manuscript-2\/","title":{"rendered":"One Ridiculously Easy Way To Improve Your Manuscript"},"content":{"rendered":"

So you want your writing not to suck. There’s a ridiculously effective way to improve it. It’s easy–once you know how:<\/p>\n

Put your manuscript on a diet!<\/p>\n

I have a guest post from writing coach extraordinaire<\/a>, Rayne Hall, with some tips.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n
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SLIM YOUR WRITING STYLE FOR THE NEW YEAR<\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0 <\/span><\/div>\n
Does your writing style have bulges and saggy bits? Dr Rayne’s Word Loss Diet helps you to trim, slim, tighten and tone your manuscript.\u00a0 <\/span><\/div>\n
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In thirty years as an editor, I’ve found the same fatty words bloat the style of many authors.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Here is a notorius, fattening, calorie-rich word: ‘could’.\u00a0 If you cut it from your diet your writing style will be come sharper and tighter. <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Beginner writers are prone to overusing it. Experienced authors\u00a0 may use it a lot in their drafts, but edit it out in the final version. <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Instead of telling us that the heroine could see, could hear, could smell or could feel something, let her see, hear, smell, taste, feel it. Simply cut the word ‘could’. <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
‘Could see’ becomes ‘saw’, ‘Could hear’ becomes ‘heard’, ‘could smell’ becomes ‘smelled’, ‘ could taste’ becomes ‘tasted’, ‘could feel’ becomes ‘felt’.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Better still: cut ‘see\/hear\/smell\/taste\/feel’ as well.\u00a0 If you have established the point of view of your story, you don’t need to say that your PoV hears the sounds, smells the smells and sees the visions.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Obese version (before diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
He could hear footsteps clanking down the stairs.<\/span><\/div>\n
Overweight version (after mild diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
He heard footsteps clanking down the stairs.<\/span><\/div>\n
Slim version (after strict diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
Footsteps clanked down the stairs.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Obese version (before diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
She could see his lips beginning to twitch.<\/span><\/div>\n
Overweight version (after mild diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
She saw his lips beginning to twitch.<\/span><\/div>\n
Slim version (after strict diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
His lips twitched.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Obese version (before diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
She could feel her cheeks firing.<\/span><\/div>\n
Overweight version (after mild diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
She felt her cheeks firing.<\/span><\/div>\n
Slim version (after strict diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
Her cheeks fired. <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Obese version (before diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
She could sense that something was wrong.<\/span><\/div>\n
Overweight version (after mild diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
She sensed that something was wrong.<\/span><\/div>\n
Slim version (after strict diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
Something was wrong.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Obese version (before diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
He could understand that it was time to leave.<\/span><\/div>\n
Overweight version (after mild diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
He understood it was time to leave.<\/span><\/div>\n
Slim version (after strict diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
It was time to leave.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Obese version (before diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
He could feel the air chill.<\/span><\/div>\n
Overweight version (after mild diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
He felt the air chill.<\/span><\/div>\n
Slim version (after strict diet)<\/span><\/u><\/div>\n
The air chilled.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Use your wordprocessor’s Find&Replace tool to count how many times you’ve used ‘could’, and cut most of them.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I’d love to hear from you. When you’ve checked your WiP for ‘could’, post a comment to tell me how many you’ve found, and whether you’re going to cut some of them. <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
What other ‘wordy words’ do you think writers can cut from from their word diet?<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
If you have questions about writing style, or need advice on\u00a0 how to tighten your writing, please ask. I’ll be around for a week, and I enjoy answering questions. <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
JANUARY ONLINE CLASS: THE WORD-LOSS DIET <\/span><\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
If your writing style tends towards wordy waffling, if your critique partners urge you to tighten, and if editorial rejections point out dragging pace, this class may be the answer. It’s perfect for toning your manuscript before submitting to editors and agents, or for whipping it into shape before indie publishing. <\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
This is an interactive class with twelve lessons and twelve assignments, for writers who have a full or partial manuscript in need of professional polish. At the end of the class, you may submit a scene for individual critiques.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Dr Rayne’s Word-Loss Diet is much more fun than depriving yourself of food, and you’ll see real results fast.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The Word-Loss Diet, presented by RayneHall. 1-31 January 2012<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n
Deadline: December 29, 2011. Fee: $25<\/span><\/div>\n
http:\/\/www.oirwa.com\/forum\/campus\/#JAN<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Rayne Hall is the author of a deliciously dark fantasy<\/a> about a man trying to protect a kingdom and protect a woman…from himself. You can buy it here<\/a>.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So you want your writing not to suck. There’s a ridiculously effective way to improve it. It’s easy–once you know how: Put your manuscript on a diet! I have a guest post from writing coach extraordinaire, Rayne Hall, with some tips. SLIM YOUR WRITING STYLE FOR THE NEW YEAR \u00a0 Does your writing style have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-412","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/412","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=412"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/412\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=412"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=412"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/taramayastales.com\/bestfantasynovel\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=412"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}