- by Tara Maya
Better
I’ve been working on the re-write for the first chapter of the fantasy novella. I notice a habit of mine, to cut myself down while I’m writing. “This doesn’t have to be good.” It’s a defense, a way to warn myself, “This won’t be too good.” That way, if I finish and it’s not, in fact, good at all, I can say, “I wasn’t really trying.”
The defense is not without its charms. I have other projects I would like to work on, but can’t, because my expectations paralyze me. Those are projects which I want to be good. To fall short would crucify me. The result is that I write nothing at all.
Surely there must be some middle ground between these extremes. I would like to hold myself to a high standard for every project, and not just toss out shoddy writing because I am “saving” my “real” efforts for something better — which I never do anyway, because having to keep my own promise intimidates me. I aim to do better.
Photo here.
